I never thought much about mental health until my aneurysm ruptured. I knew there was a stigma around talking about it openly, although I didn’t understand that attitude. I had used counselors before when I sought treatment for an eating disorder, but I hadn’t thought about that in more than two decades. It didn’t…
Episode 10
I’m exhausted. Those two little words say so much and not nearly enough. Fatigue is a major issue that a lot of brain trauma patients deal with. It isn’t the “normal” tired. It is a chronic and overwhelming exhaustion that is debilitating. One of the best analogies I’ve seen is a battery. Before the trauma,…
Episode 9
My closest friends often refer to me as a badass bitch. They say it with love…I think. Even before my aneurysm, I have been through a lot and always fought like a warrior. I’ve been through twelve knee surgeries, some absolutely brutal, including a total knee replacement (actually one of the easiest) by the time…
Episode 8
If you’ve been following my journey, you’ll already know that I struggled immensely with survivor’s guilt. I had no idea why I deserved to still be on this earth, when so many others weren’t given that luxury. What did it mean? What was I supposed to do with this new found life? It was a…
Episode 7
I lost my mom at the end of February this year. She spent two years fighting lung cancer and we knew this day would come. Knowing doesn’t make loss any easier. My mom was an amazing woman. She left this world 70 offspring…9 children, 27 grandchildren, and 34 great grandchildren. She left us her legacy…
Episode 6
Where there is breath, there is hope. It’s taken me a long time to learn that. Early on in my recovery, I began to suffer from profound survivor’s guilt. The emotional pain was debilitating. I had no clue why I was still alive, especially when so many others weren’t and the statistics were not on…
Episode 5
I’m drowning. It feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on my entire body and I can’t find the surface. We are currently dealing with scary times. News of the Covid-19 pandemic is everywhere you look. It’s troubling, disturbing, heartbreaking…and downright scary. It’s extremely common for those of us who are recovering…
Episode 4
There are many challenges that affect survivors, but one of the hardest has honestly been the unknown. There was no warning of things that I should look for or expect. No social worker came to talk to us in the hospital about how to handle this new life I had. It literally was “congratulations on…
Episode 3
My time in the hospital was fairly uneventful. I couldn’t really do much. I was heavily medicated and the drugs used to prevent vasospasms caused drowsiness. Apparently that, in addition to everything I had just been through was just too much. I was constantly being evaluated. Daily I would have a transcranial doppler ultrasound to…
Introduction
Hi. Welcome to my blog. This is something that I never thought that I would do. At least on this topic. My life forever changed on April 14, 2018. I almost didn’t survive, but I did. And it sent me on the toughest journey I have ever faced. That was the day that I suffered…